Limited and painful vision has tempted me to give up working to represent the beauty of life. Just before cataract surgery, when all turned dark and lost much color, I studied artists with no, or poor vision. Inspired by their creative struggles, I decided to stop allowing my vision challenges to stop me. I began to draw things as I saw them, not as they “should be.” With my unique vision, when I looked at a candle, I saw many flames. When I looked at the moon, there were many moons. Speakers had many heads and halos, double noses, mouths, and eyes. I saw many violins, trumpets, and flutes being played by a single musician.
Choosing to accept what I saw, and being willing to try to depict it with my “unique” vision, turned what had been sad and daunting into an intriguing challenge. Looking and noticing became fascinating again. I realised I was seeing things that others could not.
Representing color well while not being able to see it, is a problem that I didn’t solve. I didn’t solve much before I had eye surgery, and was sorry that I hadn’t used my opportunity to see uniquely sooner. The bliss of healed eyes freshly seeing form, color, and light spurred my desire to keep paying attention to, and learning how to represent the awe inspiring world we live in.
Hideous and dreaded things we experience might not be all there is. Sometimes dreams, relationships, and productivity die, but joy may be hidden in loss. Hideous can turn to beautiful, and dreaded be welcomed.